Letting people down.

Letting people down- I hate it. I also hate being let down, which is why I feel not very nice. Basically, I'm on the receiving end. A few guys like me at the moment, and they're the most lovely people ever and I do really like them-but not like that :/ And it hurt me because i think 'if you were to like them, you'd sure as hell make their day.' And I love making people feel happy and feel wanted, but my heart just doesn't want to be with them. It's still looking for its soul mate ;/ And i'm on the receiving end for a change, because I'm the one being liked. Usually, i'm the one being left heartbroken because someone doesn't feel the same way about me. And it is truly gutt wrenching knowing that you're not quite right for the person you quite simply adore. I just wish it wasn't happening in a way, but I love the attention. Being a typical girl, I have my flaws and I worry about them a hell of a lot- one particular flaw is constantly on my mind because it's one of the first things, I think, people will notice about me because it is on my face. Snide little thoughts about myself make attention all the more welcome, but when my heart is saying 'this isn't for you' my mind is thinking 'poor them :/' because I know exactly how it feels to feel compassion for someone who doesn't feel the same. Either way, I cannot win. By telling the truth, I hurt them. And by possibly going out with them, I will hurt them because it is not the right thing to do. I abide by my heart because my heart is my guide. I guess I will just have to rely on time :/ for now anyways..