Honestly, what is the right thing to do?

Your heart tells you, right? Always listen to your heart, I guess. I believe that, let your heart be your guide. But sometimes, what my heart says doesn't seem like the most sensible, logical thing. Maybe I'm on my own on this decision. Well actually, there isn't even a decision to be made because people bullshit so much these days that the truth gets pushed straight to the back. One thing I really cannot stand is when your friends turn on you, "friends" I should say. It's like, wait a minute, how do you know that's right? You know, like I'm struggling to come to a choice and some people jump straight into something straight away. Don't you take time to weigh everything up, like the fact that 10% of stuff these days is actually the truth. Some people really need to think about their actions in future, and the words they decide to spill out of their mouth. Because everybody hurts, not just the person who shows it the most.

Mr Mars.

Originally born a Peter...I wouldn't have cared if he'd of decided to perform with that name. Nevertheless, he went with Bruno. This guy has me wrapped around his little finger; words cannot describe how much I adore and love this guy.

Seriously, he is just immense. His ability to write songs is breathtaking, and his vocal skills are pretty wicked too. Overall, he's one of my favourite artists because he is real. He has a real passion for music and it really shines through in his songs and performances. He is also unbelievably cute. I love everything about him.

Originally when I first listened to his album, I wasn't all that keen. Now? I can't stop listening to his music! It's so addictive and the lyrics are just brilliant. I really, really admire him and it'd be a dream come true for him to know of my existence and to be in his company. Maybe one day, I'll be congratulating Mr Mars for his fantastic talents to his face...without trying to act like a looney, obviously ;)

xxx

Rant 36482358451

Lol...i seem to be doing a lot of deep/rantish posts atm. but i don't really care, because I need somewhere to let my feelings out.

So basically, I hate the fact that people change- especially people you love.
I've been friends with this guy for about a year and a few months, and he was one of the nicest guys ever. I really warmed to him and he was one of my favourite people ever for a very long time. Now, he's come to the conclusion that 'being nice gets you nowhere' and he's basically being a cocky little cunt now. Whats the point? Being a nice person is far more attractive than someone who treats you like a piece of dirt. We've had so many laughs and memories together, I guess they might have come to an end :/ Things have actually really changed in my little 'summer crew.' Half of them are in college or working now, some of them will be by the time this summer comes around and a few of them don't even talk to each other anymore. I guess thats what I get for being friends with older people though; they have a different mind set to me. I guess I'll experience it when i'm their age- maybe i'll find it easier to understand why things and people change. x

Letting people down.

Letting people down- I hate it. I also hate being let down, which is why I feel not very nice. Basically, I'm on the receiving end. A few guys like me at the moment, and they're the most lovely people ever and I do really like them-but not like that :/ And it hurt me because i think 'if you were to like them, you'd sure as hell make their day.' And I love making people feel happy and feel wanted, but my heart just doesn't want to be with them. It's still looking for its soul mate ;/ And i'm on the receiving end for a change, because I'm the one being liked. Usually, i'm the one being left heartbroken because someone doesn't feel the same way about me. And it is truly gutt wrenching knowing that you're not quite right for the person you quite simply adore. I just wish it wasn't happening in a way, but I love the attention. Being a typical girl, I have my flaws and I worry about them a hell of a lot- one particular flaw is constantly on my mind because it's one of the first things, I think, people will notice about me because it is on my face. Snide little thoughts about myself make attention all the more welcome, but when my heart is saying 'this isn't for you' my mind is thinking 'poor them :/' because I know exactly how it feels to feel compassion for someone who doesn't feel the same. Either way, I cannot win. By telling the truth, I hurt them. And by possibly going out with them, I will hurt them because it is not the right thing to do. I abide by my heart because my heart is my guide. I guess I will just have to rely on time :/ for now anyways..

New girl crush alert!!

Nicki Minaj

Like, oh my wow! I've always loved Nicki for her fierce personality and her amazing ability to rap and sing(also, she's a new yorker- so i <3 her accent!) but her new video for 'Super Bass' has come out and she looks smokin'!! She is a total inspiration for me because she's not afraid to be who she is, shout out who she is and every song she does has an amazing meaning behind it. She's a real woman too- curves in all the right places and I LOVE how she does her make up and experiments with wigs. She gets a massive thumbs up from me and i adore her!

Boy you got my heart beat runnin' away,

Beatin like a drum and its coming your way!

Can't you here that boom boom boom boom boom boom boom

He got that super bass.

I also love the fact that shes collaborated with so many people. At first I was like woah can this chick actually do anything on her own? But by listening to her material and the songs shes collaborated on, it's clear to see why so many artists have wanted to work with her. From Drake to Will.I.Am, to Rihanna. All big names in the music industry and they've taken little Nicki into a global sensation. Thank the lord for those guys!

'Super Bass' is on repeat atm because i just can't get enough of it. 

She's just like a doll! Hehe, i love her to bits and cannot wait to hear more from her :) 

xx

Simple- Don't Compare & I'm feeling good?

Someone has just told me i'm a babe. Then, he's gone onto say: 'but ..... is the babe of all babes.'

TALK ABOUT MAKING ME FEEL SPECIAL!?

My pet hate is having people compare me to others. I am ME. I cannot change that. I'm perfectly happy with myself, but what if i wasn't and what if this really sunk into me and really hurt me? Seriously, sometimes I don't think people actually think before they say/type something.
There is actually nothing worse than having your feelings been made great, and then suddenly brought back down again within minutes. Sometimes, all I want to know is where i stand. Is that too much to ask? Apparently, it is according to some people.

Feeling good is so...good, though. Isn't it? That sounds so weird, but whenever I feel good I just love life. Today, i've actually had a really good day. I've got a little secret here though. In one of my classes, I love it, but at the same time i dread it. And you know why? Because i'm not the favourite anymore- or i don't feel like i am. It's probably just me being stupid, because the more I think about it- I am the favourite for various reasons. Its just, things aren't how they used to be. But oh well, i guess its just another stepping stone into life. I just need to carry on thinking positive- which I've gotten good at lately. I'm confident and very happy with who I am and the way I look and my attitude. Yay :)